I have been very lucky in my career as of late (...touch wood...) In the big picture of my life thus far, I have been very lucky in my career, period.
I was never a straight-A student through Elementary and Highschool, and I co-op'd out of my last year of college so I could work in the field. I am one of those people who can sit in a classroom for years upon years and learn nothing - but put me in the job and I absorb knowledge like it's going out of style.
Growing up I was never a great looking kid. I wasn't horrendous by any means, but I had acne, I was a little husky and I always wanted to be one of the "popular girls" and always envied them. So I was an average student and an average looking person. That was fine - I didn't really see any issue with either, as long as I applied myself where it mattered and succeeded.
Well fast forward 12 years - I've worked hard in my career: I was fazed out of my radio job and took that opportunity to find a new career. This was something most people told me was impossible to do, as I was a broadcaster with no formal business education. 4 months after I was let go I started my job in marketing. Over 3 years later I have evolved that role with help and assistance of a great mentor and a wonderful boss.
And over the last 12 years I have worked hard to take care of my physical self: I work out daily, watch what I eat, invest in hair and makeup and make the most of what was given to me. I think it's sort of ironic that Lady Gaga's new single is called "Born This Way" - because I was certainly not. Through the trials and turbulations of evolving my education, looks and career is where I believe my personality has developed. I haven't always been the way I am now: it's a sense (sometimes false sense) of confidence that has made me, me.
A few weeks ago I was asked to sit on a committee for a fairly important project with the company. This was such an honour - but there was certainly my own self-doubt coming into play. "Am I capable of this job?" "Will I look stupid in this position?" "Will people think I am sham?" It's a double edged sword of emotions - am I actually good at my job? Or have I been given a few lucky breaks?
My first session with the group I realized I was the only female in a group of nine older businessmen. Should I be intimidated? Should I be quiet or speak up? Do I have to come across as extra-smart to be taken seriously? Or was the face that I have some validity in the industry obvious? Or do these people think I've made it this far simply based on the way I look?
It was suggested to me, that when I sit on the committee to "play down my pretty". What a peculiar situation. Who am I? I am a business woman who has worked very hard to learn an industry and a topic that 3 years ago, I knew virtually nothing about. I've also learned all of this despite being a somewhat decent looking human being - but now, as a young professional woman who happens to wear high heels and mascara it could be held against me?
Where do I find the happy balance?
Yesterday I went in - hair pulled back and a more muted face of makeup. I made some valid points that I feel the group were receptive too. I worked as a part of a team of men - not as an outsider with a group of men. Black pants and a gray blazer, well-spoken (I hope) on a variety of issues and solutions for our industry. Why do I have to pick either pretty or smart? Why can't we be both?
No comments:
Post a Comment